Chew Toys

Not all stuffed chew toys are created equal. I've only tried a few on Bella and literally in less than an hour, the toy is destroyed. At Petsmart, they aren't super expensive, but when they don't last, they aren't cheap either.

I tried a new stuffed toy on her (made by Tuffies Pet Toys) which are supposedly "built" for aggressive chewers. I bought her a gator which I was told was a "7" on a scale of "10" in chewing durability. Within minutes, Bella had chewed out the nose area and removed the stuffing. Over the course of a couple of hours, the tail (and stuffing) and the toes (and stuffing) were gone or opened up.

Now I know she is a chewer, but I had higher hopes for this particular toy. When I went to the manufacturer's site, I realized the gator was merely a "5" on the chew scale. Ah ha! No wonder! I bought it through a small, independent shop, so I let the owner know not all of those particular brand carry the same chew ranking.

Bella hasn't completely destroyed the toy yet (though it is a mere shadow of its former self). So even at a 5, the toy is tough. None-the-less, had I known of the gator's unique ranking, I would have waited until the store owner got more in stock and purchased a more heftily constructed toy. At over $20 a pop, I wanted something a bit more duro.

Odd Noises

I was working at the computer when I heard a strange noise. Puppy? Where's the puppy!

She was busy! Waste baskets might be fun, but toilet paper on a roll—now that is fun!

Behavior and Color Changes

My nephew and his wife were visiting us for a few days. Bella was in heaven. Four people with whom to play! What a boon! The downside of their visit is that we now have a puppy who thinks she is the center of her universe. (Which unfortunately isn't too far off.)

Her ability to ignore well-known commands has escalated and I can tell I'll have several days of getting her back on track. The worst issue is ignoring "Come!" when our game of fetch is over. She wants no part of "over." I call her, she stands just out of reach and stares, I wait, she ignores. The word which has never failed is "Treats!" said in the highest, squeakiest voice one can muster. She always comes, but I must have a handful of yummy morsels. I want this command to be foolproof.

My nephew said she'd changed color since she was a baby. We hadn't noticed as we see her daily. But he was correct. Here's a picture of her the first day she came home. Look how much more white she was as a baby.

Coziness

Bella chews her toys only when we're around. In fact, she's happiest when she's chewing the toy right next to us or even better, on us. On our foot, against our leg, at our back. It's annoying, but somehow endearing. It's a little personality quirk that I'm not sure I really care to "fix."

Toys Part 2, Snacks and Food

Keeping Bella in toys that both stimulate her and that she can't instantly chew up is challenging. I've never owned a dog that enjoyed toys or was a hard chewer, so this is an interesting problem—and potentially expensive. Stuffed squeaky toys are a complete bust. Kongs are duro and fun, but I want to give her something that is not always food related. Her cocktail ball is good and she spends quite a bit of time with it for little calories. But what else?

Today I discovered the Teaser Ball at Immortal Dog. It feels like brittle plastic, and to me, didn't look very entertaining. (How much fun could a ball inside of a ball be?) But Nicole at Immortal Dog was correct—it works for heavy chewers and holds her attention. Be forewarned—the toy is quite noisy on wood floors. There was lots of banging around which I'm sure didn't do the floor any favors. None-the-less, Bella was extremely eager to play with it and went at it with gusto.

Now this store, Immortal Dog, is new to me and I'm uncertain how I came across it. Since I became aware of it, however, I've read several write-ups, all very favorable. One of the most encouraging things beyond the stellar inventory, is the owner, Nicole Bembry. She's a bundle of energy and knows her stuff. After mentioning Bella's propensity to destroy toys, she showed me several she thought would last including the Teaser Ball.

Any of you who have fed your dog hooves, know how stinky they are. The last one I gave Bella, she ate up in a single sitting only to throw it up again hours later. The hoof I gave her was small and thin, so perhaps I need to look for the really beefy ones (no pun intended). But Nicole suggested a really cool new chew toy called Snooks. It's made in Oregon from super-dried organic sweet potatoes strung on a hemp rope. Where a hoof smells stinky, these smell, well, like sweet potatoes—a hint of cinnamon and fall.

Bella went crazy when I brought them into the car, but to be honest, I'm not sure if it was the Snooks or her new food or both. I'm trying Legacy Puppy Food. It's not a designated large puppy brand, but is grain free, for what that's worth. Bella has pretty stinky stools and farts quite a bit. Although I feed her good food and give her a slow transition between different brands, I wonder if maybe she has an allergy to grains? I'll ease her into this new brand and see. It's got quite a bit more protein and fat than the last batch of food she's eaten (Avoderm Large Puppy).

My vet advised feeding Bella large puppy formula so as not to promote too fast of growth . This Legacy product may be both too rich and too high protein. However, the product I was looking for (Orijen Large Puppy) also is high protein and fat. My vet changes her dogs' food with each bag, easing the transition between products. Her take was that altering the foods not only gives the dog variety in taste, but also in ingredients and nutrition. I like that philosophy and am trying it with Bella.

Puppies and Computer Electronics

One of Bella's favorite places to be in the office is under the desk. I'm sure for a dog it's a wonderful cave, but for me, the owner, it's riff with potential danger. Computer cords snake through there and I'm constantly bringing her out "from under."

Well today it happened. There was a long USB cable that we used to access the port in back of one of the machines. Bella was at my feet chewing on one of her toys when I became aware the sound of her chewing had changed. I looked down and she'd chewed the USB plug off the cable. Luckily I was able to get her to drop it and fish out a little piece of plastic she continued to work on. I'm hoping nothing was swallowed.

Leash Pulse Issues

One of the things I hear and read repeatedly is how to appropriately execute a "leash pulse" to alert your dog that you need its attention. Let's say the dog surges ahead or charges off to the side for a sniff thereby breaking a heel. A quick leash pulse says "Hey Pup! Pay attention. I need you to get back in position." To see a good explanation, click here and click on the topic down "Squeeze/Pulse."

When I do it correctly—when she surges ahead—Bella falls in line beautifully. Unfortunately, what I find myself doing too frequently is pulling. This happens when she leaps off to the side to smell, grab, eat, something. I end up reactively pulling her back. What happens when you pull? A dog reflexively pulls in the opposing direction. Iditarod, anyone?

Why are sled dogs so effective? They are pulling against a weight—the sled and rider. Reflexive reaction. With our last dog, the (wonderful, but problematic) Lucy, I bought a Springer with which to give her ample exercise via biking. Big mistake! It worked beautifully, but somewhere in Lucy's 'when I grow up I want to be' psyche, she was a sled dog. I used the Springer once (note the 'once') with her, she ran me up a very, very steep hill at 18 miles an hour. (For you bikers out there, you know this is impressive.) I never used it again.

So pulling on the leash is counter-productive. Teaching the leash holder this fact, however, is as difficult as teaching the dog that walking by one's side is preferable to any other position. ...Or at least that is the case in this household!

Home-made Biscuits

I never thought I'd do it. Make dog biscuits. But I have and Bella is absolutely in love with them. I bought a mix from King Arthur Flours that I wanted to test. I planned to give the mix as a gift to friends who have dogs. The mix produced double the amount of biscuits it claimed and as testimony to their tastiness, Bella drools when we put our hand even near the container in which they reside.

Now that I know how successful it was, I've searched the Internet for other recipes and will let you know if they pass the doggie test. Will I still buy? Sure. But this might prove a fresh biscuit, like a fresh loaf of bread, can't be bought.

Bad Morning, Good Afternoon

Bella was an absolute pill this morning. No commands were executed on first request, she didn't stay by my side, she ate everything she found and dropped nothing. I had to dig through her mouth to get the whatevers out. She did come when she was called only to bolt a second after she arrived. Time for Doggie Pushups. No nothing without compliance—a sit, a down, a wait. And no treats for sloppy execution.

Dog says, "Sit? Hmm-m-m. Let me think about it. Oh sit, oh yeah, I can do that. Watch."

My response? "No tickie, no bickie." A delayed sit doesn't warrant a biscuit. Nor does a "Down? You want me to do what? Lay on cold pavement? Naw. Not gonna do it. Oh you really want a down? Okay. Let me think about it first..."

This afternoon was—thanks heavens—a different story. I took her over to the church parking lot and threw the tennis ball for her. Before every other throw a command was given and compliance expected before the ball was tossed again. She did really well, not immediate in all cases, but nothing like this morning. On the walk afterwards, she did a heel about 80% of the time.

Guess I won't send her back yet.

Obedience Class Over, Snow in the Mountains

The mountains have snow already and young Bella has never seen it. I want to take her up there this weekend to see what she thinks of it. I promise to take lots of pictures.

Basic Obedience class ended Monday night. I enjoyed the classes but am glad they are over. Unfortunately, the follow up class starts at 8:45PM—way too late for me. I wouldn't be home until 10:30PM and then would need a bit of time to wind down. It would make an early dawn wake up hellish and leave me dragging through work.

We did a fun relay at the end of the class. We divided into two teams. Large stuffed biscuits were laid 20 feet apart on the floor in two rows, two per row. We began with our dog in a sit at the head of a row. Our pups had to heel to the first biscuit and then sit. At the second biscuit, a down was required. Past the biscuit, we requested a sit and wait. Returning, we had to go clockwise around the first biscuit and counterclockwise around the second. When we finished, the next team member could go.

Our team lost miserably. The first dog had a tough (but enjoyable) time attempting the commands. Next up was Bella. Oh my! Each biscuit was just too much for her as she'd grab and shake it. It was very funny, but certainly slowed us down. I guess that means I need to diligently work on distractions with her. It's funny because on walks, she's pretty good, but giant stuffed biscuits seem to be her weakness.

The instructor told us to work on the 3 D's: Duration, Distraction and Distance. Duration being how long they could hold the command. Add some distraction and see how that affected the duration. Then add the clincher distance between owner and pet. She advised to make the duration shorter when we added the distraction. After a pup could successfully hold a command with some distraction, shorten the duration, lessen the distraction and add distance. I think that will be a fun to work on until another class presents itself at a more reasonable hour.

My First Shiner

Bella and I were playing ball yesterday. In my exuberance to retrieve a wayward ball for her, I slipped on some wet wood, smacking my check against a concrete block. Luckily I suffered no broken bones or teeth. I spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch with an ice pack on my face. Bella was quite concerned and kept coming over and licking my ear. Finally, figuring this wasn't enough, she crawled up on top of me and nestled between the back cushions and my body, resting her head on my shoulder. Although I've never allowed a dog onto the furniture, how could I refuse her well-meaning actions? I wish I had a picture. I'm sure she looked sweet. It was nice to know, even at six months, she recognizes and concerned for our well-being.

Today I have quite the shiner and one cheek that resembles a chipmunk's stuffed with food.

RainRainRain

Could you guess? It's been pouring rain all day. Walking Bella requires completely suiting up in head-to-toe rain gear and miserably dripping your way around the neighborhood. There is not a lot of dog walking competition; we owned the road. And now as I write, the rain has let up, but someone is coming over, so I can't take her out.

The pleasure in today's walk, besides having a wonderful puppy with whom I can walk, was Bella's stick. When we leave our backyard, she immediately steps into the garden to snort some great smell. Today she found a thick, meaty stick. Yum! She happily carried it throughout the walk. She didn't miss not having treats for good walking behavior. She had something to chew the entire way!

Toys

It's interesting to see how different dogs play with the same toy. Lucy, at 10 months old, adopted a cedar log from our log pile. Over ten years, that log became a piece of kindling. It was one of two toys with which Lucy continually played. But although it diminished in size, Lucy wasn't really a chewer. Oh, she'd give it a couple of gnaws, but mostly she wanted to play tug or toss it around. Bella has found the "log" and is only moderately interested in it. Bella is a chewer extraordinaire, however, and if she sticks with it, it will disappear.

The other toy Lucy absolutely loved was what we called her cocktail ball. It came out when I started making dinner. She wasn't very food motivated, but she was definitely nose motivated. Lucy would roll the ball methodically throughout the house until every little treat fell out. She didn't pause, she didn't stop, until the ball was empty.

Bella has lots of toys which she plays with constantly. Her method with the ball, however, is quite different. Bella's nose is a mere shadow of Lucy's, but she loves the same ball because it has food. Bella will roll it only a bit. Otherwise she is determined to chew her way through. This says something for the strength of the ball—she's yet to rip it apart. Bella also is into dropping it or putting it on the edge of furniture and letting it roll off. She has a clever method, but Lucy got more treats.

What Dog?

I just saw this questionnaire on another blog http://manymuddypaws.blogspot.com/ regarding what breed you'd choose out of the seven AKC recognized dog groups and why. I thought this would be fun to do. I couldn't choose just one for several of the categories. How could anyone? Dogs are just too wonderful. What's your choice—or choices?

1. Sporting: My pick-Golden Retriever. I had several growing up and they were such a good family dog. And Labrador—as that's part of Bella.


2. Hound: My pick-This one is tough. Many folks thought Lucy had some greyhound or Saluki or Whippet in her. She ran like a greyhound, with her legs folding underneath her, so one of the long, lean running dogs...


3. Working: My pick-Schnauzer. My brother had one, Arnie. He was a great dog.


4. Terriers: My pick-Airedale, definitely Airedale. I read the book Junket as a little girl and have had a penchant for Airedales ever since.


5. Toys: My pick-This one is tough too as I don't really appreciate toy dogs. I guess I'd go with an Italian Greyhound, just because of Lucy. In reality IG's are still too small and finicky for my taste. My neice has a Chihuahua which is the cutest little thing, but I just don't feel myself drawn to toys.


6. Non Sporting: My pick-Dalmatian. I wouldn't have thought they'd fall into this group, but I like their sleekness and love their spots!


7. Herding: My pick-Really tough choice. I've had mixed breeds of Aussies, Border Collies and German Shepherds and love all three of those. Do I have to choose?


8. Miscellaneous: My pick-Treewalking Coonhound. A friend told me she'd grown up with one and I looked it up. Beautiful shape!

Working on "No Jump"

In obedience class this past week, Bella started out as a jewel. This was Week #2. Last week, Bella embarrassed me by barking through the entire class. We had a stellar start this week, but it rapidly disintegrated. Bella behaved like Hermione on a sugar high. As the teacher demonstrated different techniques, Bella began whining and wiggling—and crawling towards the teacher. "Pick me! Oh! Pick me! I know how to do that!" And indeed, Bella does know how to do both the "sit" and "down" the instructor was trying to teach us.

However, by the end of the hour, Bella had lost all touch with reality. No amount of cajoling, treating, ignoring, downing or correcting could get her to focus. She's lost complete control of herself, and I had lost control of her. It was awful and unfortunately, the instructor offered no solutions. This frustrated me. When I finally asked, her reply was that class was too exciting. Well, instruct me how to deal with it because I'm getting nothing from class this way! I'll try talking with the teacher before class next week, but if I see this same lack of intervention, I'll complain. She isn't helping us, if she isn't teaching us how to control our dogs. This is one of the reasons we're all taking a class.

One interesting training tip I did get from class is a new way of teaching a pup not to jump up on you. It's interesting how the methods have changed on this. It used to be you were supposed to knee the dog in the chest when it jumped up. Later, grabbing the dogs paws became the preferred method. Some recommended you turn your back to the dog when it jumped. Others promoted stepping towards the dog, so the pup would sit upon backing away. Well, here's yet another solution:

We haven't had any visitors, so I've yet to have a friend try it, but it looks like a good idea. What do you think of this method?

Fresh Bread

I baked a loaf of whole wheat bread yesterday after work. It was the perfect time to do it. It was pouring rain and a homey afternoon. I put on some classical music and got to kneading. The timing was also perfect in that the finished bread came out of the oven just before we had to take off and meet my niece and her partner for dinner. The kitchen smelled heavenly!

Flash back to earlier in the day. Bella ate part of a sock at some point during the day. My husband was around, but hadn't noticed that the sock was reconfigured. I was a bit concerned about what it would do in her system, but the only choice was to wait and see.

I took her to see her friend, Amber. They played a bit, but Bella was really being a pill. Amber was bombarded by the puppy and clearly unhappy about it, so we left. On our walk, we ran into another friend walking her Akita and walked with them. Both of us were hoping for an opportunity to work our dogs around distractions. Bella did well, but since her obedience class on Monday, has really been pushing the envelope. She's choosing to ignore commands. Gr-r-r.

Flash forward. When we returned from a fun evening out, we opened the door to discover the puppy had somehow been able to reach the back of the counter and had eaten the majority of the fresh bread. To my knowledge, this is her first successful attempt at counter-surfing. Needless to say, she was horribly uncomfortable and had a restless night. (As did I dealing with her!)

This morning she's slugging around the house and refused to go on a walk. I left her with my husband with instructions on feeding her (very little and in her crate) and watching to see if she is okay. She has a lot inside her that needs to come out...

Hiking

I took Bella on a most magnificent hike this past Friday with a friend and her dog. The weather was chilly but gorgeously sunny with fall colors coming on strongly. The other dog is 6, almost 7, and tolerant of Bella, but not necessarily eager to play with her, much to Bella's chagrin.

There were streams and lakes throughout the hike, so the opportunities to retrieve were around every corner. At one of the lakes, we had to stop tossing sticks because she was shivering with cold, but determined to keep going. She hiked probably 6 miles that day and slept well that night!

The next day my husband took her on a small mountain bike ride—around 2.5 miles. He said she was banking her turns and barking with joy. The next day, she went kite boarding with him. Because of the cold and a pesky injury, my husband ended up not kiting, but playing on the beach with Bella. Oh happy girl!

Here she is in the van on top of all the equipment. Today has been a big let down with us both back at work. It's a dog's life!

Flash Back

With school starting up again, I haven't been able to write regularly (or at all). I never posted about our vacation and it's enough in the past, that I am no longer in the mood to write about it. However, I do want to say that Bella did beautifully. Within the first week we stopped using the crate when we went off biking and I'm not sure why we chose to do that. I always left her with a stuffed Kong and the van—and Bella—were fine when we returned. The only things we lost to her chewing was one magazine (which we gave her) and two rolls of toilet paper (to which she helped herself).

I took her hiking and her Aussie traits kicked in. Although I started her on a leash, I wanted to see how she'd do off-leash. At four months, I felt confident in her need to be with us that I doubted she'd run off, though I knew I was taking a risk. Again, she did beautifully. She'd go part way up a trail, stop and wait until I caught up. The trait I was not happy with was her nipping. In her excitement to get going, keep going or return, she'd start barking and nipping at me. Bad! When this started, I made her sit and rewarded her for complying. The disreputable behavior subsided.

We also tried her on very, very short mountain bike rides (under three miles). She stayed right with us. What a joy! She'll be a great mountain biking dog when she gets a bit older. Oh! And did I mention she figured out swimming on this trip? That's her labby side. Previously, she'd tiptoe into the water, but never chose to swim. At one point, she just walked into a lake and began paddling!

Of course when we returned home and reverted to "normal" life, it wasn't as "fun" for her. I had to return to work, she had to be sequestered when I left. No fabulous new smells and new woods to encounter. However, I think the camping trip also helped in other ways. It finally trained her regarding peeing indoors. The van was too little (like a crate). She's been stellar ever since.

Spayed

It happens to most city girls. Before they've even achieved adolescence they are medically altered to "it-dom." Our girl is just five months. I know it's for the best and I know it eliminates chances of some cancers, but you can't help but feel miserable for them.

Puppies definitely recover quickly, however. The first two days after the surgery, Bella was on drugs and although I was hesitant to use them, the vet warned about mitigating the pain the pup was in whether she showed it or not. (I certainly remember the pain I was in after the same surgery!) A friend who has two poodles used a funny, life preserver-looking collar on one of them and lent one to us. It's much better than "The Cone" and Bella got used to it quickly. She looks a bit like a flower, or a circus animal, or as my husband calls her, "Disco Dog." Many people have stopped and asked why she's wearing it. On the back of the tube it warns against using if for a life preserver.

By day 3, her activity level shot up. And now, 10 days after the surgery, her energy level is normal. Her stitches will be removed within the hour. No more life preserver around her neck. (I had it off today for about an hour and she started chewing the stitches. Guess she can wear it a little longer.) It will be nice not to have her banging into me on walks. I'm sure she'll appreciate being able to maneuver around without smacking things (although as a puppy I don't think she really cared). Sleeping should be nicer for her.

Trial Run

We did a trial run for camping this past weekend getting ready for three weeks on the road. Bella took over the van "couch." Nary a second thought—it was hers. (This will require steadfast work on our part to convince her it isn't always hers.)

She was able to finagle a huge stick into the van as evidenced by the blurry picture. It isn't, of course, in the van in the shot. She was working up to that. She worked the angle, the run in and the leap.

And like all good dogs, she recognized the packing phase for what it was. FUN TRIP AHEAD! How do they learn this so quickly?

A small concern is that she just entered the "brat" phase. I'm a little leery of three weeks in close quarters, but am hoping the exercise and excitement of new environments will sufficiently tucker her out!

Teething

Bella lost her front teeth (top and bottom) a couple of weeks ago. For a few days she had nothing up front to tear with, but her adult teeth didn't take long to break the surface. For another couple of days, she had a double layer on the bottom (baby and adult teeth next to her canines) so we named her The Land Shark.

Her other teeth must be loose, as we're seeing blood on some of the things on which she chews. She has also become a prolific drooler. We're hoping this is just because of teething; it's so unbecoming in a girl-dog!

Mountain Biking

We took Bella for a 1/2 mile mountain bike ride yesterday. I know puppies should not run on a regular basis. Not good for their growth plates. But a 1/2 mile (if that), I figured was okay. I wanted to see how she did off leash and with bicycles on the trail. Stellar!

Her Aussie heritage came to the fore. She was constantly waiting for the last person to catch up. She stayed on the trail. She came when called. What a good puppy!

Clean Puppy

Bella gets a bath!

Getting the grimy ears clean!

Looking almost dog-like!

Hot!

Yesterday the airport recorded 103 degrees. A record for us, but not the highest temp in the area. Some local communities got up to 106! The last time I looked at the in-house thermometer it was 96. That's indoors. (This morning at 5:30AM it was pegged at 84.)

I bought a kiddie pool for Bella, but during the day all she did was drink from it. One front paw went in, but nothing else. I stuffed her Kong with ice cubes and that satisfied her until they melted and we were back to the heat. It was, in fact, too hot to even be sitting outside in the shade, so the majority of the day we were in the basement. I wish I knew what the temp was there. It was cooler, but it certainly wasn't cool.

Around 9PM we went into the back and Bella re-discovered the pool. I wish I could take action shots because she was having a ball trying to dig to the bottom of the pool. No lying in it, but she spread so much water by digging that she was soaked. And what happens to a cooled down puppy? Solid action! She went flying around the yard making three laps, before going back to the pool for another dig!

I'll look at the phone pictures I took and see if they are worth posting.

Mood Reversal

Did I say "I love my puppy" yesterday? Well, I do, but by last night I wasn't so sure. She peed downstairs on the carpet. Mea Culpa. I got a phone call and ran upstairs to take it and didn't take Bella. She's gone two weeks without an accident, but obviously doesn't yet know the appropriate pee spot.

The weather has been abysmally hot (mid to high 90s) and I find my temperament drops with each degree of heat. So I was angry when I came back down and spotted the puddle. (I did not shame the puppy, but cleaned it up and took the puppy upstairs and outside.)

In trying to escape the heat, we went to the river for a quick dip. It revved the puppy and she got spunky, bouncy and bitey—and took the opportunity to bite the leash and me. NO BITES! My momentarily cooled off temperament took another nose dive. I spent the rest of the evening away from the puppy and let my husband deal with her. I knew I wasn't capable at that point of being reasonable and I didn't want her to be the recipient of my foul mood.

Today is supposed to be even warmer topping out (I hope!) the day after at 100. I am doing some private instruction mid-day and can only hope the location is air-conditioned. Waking up to find the temperature already in the 70s at 5AM, just makes me a grouch at the start. I don't know how I survived living in the Midwest. I find this weather completely debilitating.

I love my puppy!

I know Bella isn't unique and all new owners feel similarly about their own pup, but I LOVE MY PUPPY! Here is a terribly blurry picture that doesn't show how absolutely adorable and smart and cute she is, but I like the picture none-the-less. She was completely inside the milk carton, but jumped out when I snapped. Why was she there? Exploring!

We just finished puppy class today. She is not the best behaved in class; she doesn't often play with the others. She scavenges for left over kibbles that may have been dropped. Or she goes person to person and sits politely in front of them waiting for a handout because she knows sitting gets food. How could you not love her to pieces?

Too Long

I apologize for the long gaps between posts. No one told me having a puppy was so time consuming! We've also had lots going on besides the puppy—our house was recently burgled and we just finished up a stint of dog sitting.

Bella grows by leaps and bounds both physically and mentally. She is more able to do "dog" things. Whereas a couple of weeks ago, running wasn't really figured out, she's looking more dog-like when she runs. She leaped into the van for the first time yesterday. It may have been a fluke as she saw her half-sister, Molly, do it. Bella went in right after her. She also took a flying leap off a three-step platform clearing all the steps in her enthusiasm.

We feel like proud parents over her increasing abilities. "Isn't she clever?" we remark. I'm glad we're saying these things in the confine of our home. I'm a bit embarrassed how gushy we are.

Here's a great picture of her with her favorite companion. I'm sure Molly loves Bella despite Bella's "remora" tendencies, but Bella absolutely adores Molly. The day after Molly went home, Bella slept nearly the entire day.

Bella is Settling In

Bella is settling in. In previous posts I mentioned what at first I thought was aggression, but now realize is rough play. She's a vocal player like Lucy and it sounds vicious, but it merely talk. Sometimes she gets overamped (like a child) and plays too roughly, but a momentary separation seems to solve that.

She plays beautifully with her half-sister, Molly. Plays to the point they are both exhausted. She has gone camping with us and behaves beautifully in the van. We have her in a large soft crate and she'll most likely curl up and sleep or quietly gnaw on a chew. Here she is on a hot, hot day. The heat combined with many new experiences, people, other dogs, kids, kite boarders, water, wind...well, it tuckers out a girl!

Reality Relief

After posting the "attack" issue in a couple of fabulous dog forums, I feel more human again. From my sister-in-law to everyone in the forums, the consensus was one incident does not indicate an aggressive dog. Sunday afternoon and Monday, I took Bella to an area where a lot of folks walk their dogs and none elicited the reaction she showed with the little lab. Not even close. She met dogs of all different sizes, ages and temperaments and was universally well-behaved. I still want to be alert to the potential, but it's no longer consuming me.

I must admit today, however, I am exhausted from puppy parenting. I know these puppy traits will pass and with them will be a certain nostalgia, but the constant monitoring is all-consuming and really makes me wonder why on earth someone in their mid-50s would choose to have a child! I can barely keep up with a puppy and that is tons easier in comparison.

I'm on a new scheme to train in small increments throughout the day. Over and over and over again. No session is terribly long, but just enough repetition for her to get some of these commands ingrained. Biting is a big issue and that has to stop. She's also nipping at legs...herding dog. That will also have to stop.

The other big one is starting and stopping on walks. Ten feet forward, sit, another ten, lay down, another ten, sit. I've got to figure out a way around that and it may be with food although every time she gets a kibble, she sits to eat it. 100 chews. Mother would be proud.

Awful!

Today in our first puppy class, Bella attacked another, smaller puppy. The pup was about a quarter of her size and quite shy, but not submissive. All the puppies seemed to dominate this one, but none attacked. Bella got over the top of her and went for her neck. Before I could even react, the instructor swooped in and removed Bella. No shouts, no "No!"—just got her out of the situation.

I've written so frequently about the turmoil with Lucy's aggression and how it dominated everything we did. The last thing I wanted was another dog to have this same issue. When I spoke with the instructor after class, she said (in so many words), if Bella was showing this behavior now, it was part of her personality. I don't think this is the place to swear, but I'm certainly thinking that way. I am so horribly discouraged.

I know she's young and I know I have the advantage of time and training on my side, but I donotdonotdonot want another aggressive dog!

Love Fest

Here is Bella snoozing on my husband's leg. Oh! Such a lovely puppy!

Bella has done two nights with only one mid-night wake-up. Five hours of crossing her legs successfully! It's been great. Though I find myself still in a bit of a sleep-deprived fog, I know real sleep is not too far away.

I took her in the car yesterday and will again today. Tomorrow is her first shots from the vet, though she did get the first puppy shots from her breeder. On Sunday we begin puppy class. For these two events, I want to make sure that I am able to successfully travel with her. I'm presently using her bed (crate) for this and it seems to work well.

I'm excited about the class starting up and am eager to see her with the other puppies. Although we've been doing a moderate amount of training (name recognition, leash walking, sit, a bit of come), I want to get started with guided training. My husband says I know what how to train a dog and that's probably true. None-the-less, I haven't worked with a puppy in decades and want the guidance. It's the clicker training which I'm excited to try.

Bella's Home!

Bella is here and my! What a puppy! We're thrilled to pieces and exhausted from all the middle of the night outings. She's been very good about letting me know when "it's time." A bit of squirming in her box which is by my side of the bed is enough to let me know to take her outside.

Everyone exclaims over her cuteness and of course, I have to agree. In reality, what puppy isn't cute? But since she's mine, she probably is the cutest of all.

She's fairly mellow for an 8-week old and able to self-entertain. Separation is a bit of a problem; she doesn't want me out of her sight, but once she figures out the situation, she quiets down.

She's met Hannah (a friend's 14-year old pup), Molly (Bella's cousin—same mom, different dads), Amber, Annie, Josie and Cherry—the neighborhood dog crew. She is a bit intimidated by the younger, bouncier ones (Amber, Molly and Cherry), but very enamored with Annie and Hannah who are old, sedate, about the size of her mom and similar coloring.

Puppy Kindergarten starts Sunday at
Ahimsa. I signed up for classes beginning on Monday, but with confusion happening between the vet, shots and class schedules, that fell through and I lost the opportunity. Bella gets her second set of shots on Saturday and that's where the glitch was; she needed those for the vet's okay. The owner at Ahimsa offered the Sunday class and although I originally bulked at that day and time, I think it will be great. One it's with the owner and two, it's early enough that there will be plenty of time with the rest of the day to play.

So into the land of puppydom we go!

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is our lucky day! The puppy comes home! Today will include last minute frantic scurrying to get us ready. I need to get some chicken wire to fence off the veggie beds (the rest of the gardens will be on their own), the big crate needs to be set up and the baby-gates found.

Will the puppy like us?

Bringing in Supplies

I am so excited. It's funny how much different I feel about this puppy versus the sweet Tucker. I find myself quite 'ga-ga' over the puppy's imminent arrival and perhaps that's the calm before the storm. The basement is stocked with puppy food, treats and toys. Reading is frenetic. The orientation last night was exhilarating.

Who is this puppy? The thing I keep thinking is that for a while it will be pandemonium, and then...and then...it will be bliss. Yes, there will be ups and downs and whys and hows and all the things that go with dog-owning. But unless this puppy is a complete bomb (which I don't anticipate), there will be all the years of dog-owning bliss when I look into that furry face and glow with love and pride and happiness that this pup is part of my family!

Restart

It seems longer than it's been since I've posted and like much of life, so much has happened! We had a lovely Memorial weekend, but it was odd being dogless. The flip side was nice though—there were no issues about what to do and when, nor how to accomplish it with a dog. And then the phone call about the aussie-lab puppies...

A friend joined me to look at the five pups. She's a "puppy aficionado," so I'm uncertain whether it was advantageous to bring her along or not! Talk about aiding and abetting!

The pups were kept in a barn stall and were in the process of being weaned from their mom. The mama dog is absolutely wonderful: very petite, very nurturing, very attentive. Her five pups were a mix of her and her handsome consort: two black girls, a black merle boy (the only boy), a brown merle girl, and a tri-colored girl. The tri was already spoken for, so the others were available for consideration.

I fell for a little black girl who exhibited typical lab characteristics—happy go-lucky and friendly, such a delightful dufus! Yet I found the little brown merle girl interesting too. Initially the brown merle was a bit too independent for my liking, but as I watched her quietly explore, I became quite smitten. When she tuckered, she came over and laid down beside me. What's not to like?

Four days later, I took my husband (resigned and silent) out to see them. [Can we have a shaft of sunlight beaming down on us and heavenly music playing?] I have never seen someone do such a complete 180! He kept exclaiming how cute the puppies were while he played and laughed and patted them. The little brown merle took a shine to him and for the next hour, stayed by his side. So guess who we're bringing home? The posted picture is from my first visit when she was six weeks old and just about to konk out from an hour's worth of play.

It's been nearly two weeks since we've seen her; we wanted her a solid eight weeks old. I get to pick her up Friday morning and my same puppy-friend is coming along. We don't have a name yet, though the list of potential names is long. I'm excited to see how much she's changed in that time. All the other puppies are gone except for the little tri girl, so luckily our pup still had her sibling and mama there for comfort.

Last night I attended an orientation for puppy training and classes begin in two weeks. I have a stack of puppy books laying in the breakfast nook. I'm dreaming, thinking, stressing, happily contemplating all things puppy. More later when she's joined the fold!

New Day

I dropped Tucker off last week. His foster mom is a wonderful, easy-going woman. She was going to take Tucker sheep-herding this past weekend. I hope it went well; I think he'd like it.

When I dropped him off, he immediately started playing with his buddy and that certainly eased the transition for me. His foster mom sent me an email letting me know he's paced the gate when I left, but went back to playing with his dog friends, so Tuck will be okay.

The friend that joined me on this sad, but good trip said I should get a lab. I don't think of myself as a lab person, but what should happen? The owner of my in-laws great aussie called to tell me their wonderful little girl dog commingled with the neighbor's black lab and now has 5 week old puppies as proof? Destiny? I'll go look...

A short lived affair

I've been in tears all day struggling with this decision, but I feel I have to return Tucker. He is the sweetest boy and wants so badly to please, but our environment is not a good match for him. I believe he needs more stimulation than we can provide him. He barks/yips in the yard, house, car. Whether an obsession or a bad habit, it is a very large part of his personality—at least here. Perhaps he needs more space or a dog buddy—or more likely, a job.

Last night our neighbors were over. The mom is a vet tech and her daughter is around six and dog-savvy. They've both met Tucker before and the little girl has patted him. She's a very quiet little girl—and this is an understatement. Tucker was leashed to me. The little girl was very gently petting him, she wasn’t jumping or squeaking—or even speaking. When she stopped, Tucker starting nipping at her clothes. There is not a mean bone in his body, all he wanted to do was play. She didn't react and actually thought it was kind of fun. However, I immediately said “No!” and put Tucker on a down, then removed him from the situation.

Neither mom nor daughter were frightened or bothered by it, he didn’t make contact with skin, but I know that nipping is what he was bred to do. He nips at me if I race by him. I can’t help thinking in a different situation, if I should have my head turned and a small child comes running by…

My husband and I had a long talk about it last night and again this morning trying to determine the best next step. Tucker is a beautiful little boy dog who is very sweet and exhibits traits for which he was bred. I understand the learning curve with a new dog. I know training is a long process and needs to be viewed with the big picture/long term goals in mind. However, this made us assess our lifestyle and dog needs with his needs/breed.

Packworks felt Tuck was a medium-high drive dog. My take is he'd be happiest with a job whether it is actually working or working with someone who can consistently and regularly provide him with something to do (herding, agility). Not piecemeal, not every once and a while, not miles of long walks. (Even the seven miles yesterday didn't slow him down much.) If he isn't regularly engaged (and toys don't seem to hold his attention for very long), he isn't happy/is bored. I play with him in the yard, but if he loses interest in the game, there's the sky to deal with. I am not able to give him the amount of attention he seems to need.

We've been working on the leash and it still needs work. He sits for his dinner, waits to go out the door, walks my pace down stairs. He's very smart and very tender. While crying, he was curled at my feet. What is not to love about this dog? But for his sake and ours, I think he needs a different family.

Calmer...at least for now

I think Packworks missed the boat on Tucker. They had great ideas, but for the wrong dog. In 24 hours, he became a much different animal and not one I wanted. Today I walked him around seven miles in three different walks and he's back to sweet.

He still sky barked. Bad. Really bad. But perhaps if I keep him tethered to me I can stop it.

I'm also going to take some obedience classes, either starting this week or early June. Classes were not recommended by the trainers, but I think it will be a good solution and good for bonding.

I'll keep Tucker another week.

Pulling My Hair Out

One week down the hatch and what a hatch it is! Tucker is obsessive/compulsive about the sky. He tears around the yard, eyes fixed skyward, barking. It doesn't matter if a bird, contrail, or plane is in sight; he's over the top about it. Same in the house if he can look out a window. I hate this and don't know how to deal with it!

Packworks said to keep his world small and only walk him in the backyard, but after one day, he's gone from a sweet boy to a snippy boy. Awful. I took him back into the neighborhood this morning and though he pulled, it was better for both of us. Where's the mental stimulation from walking the backyard? He didn't look at me while doing it, but at the sky. Periodically he'd flop down and I'd be dragging him until he got up. What is this proving? If this is leadership, I say someone else can have it!

He won't poop (yet) while on a leash, so of course he went inside. Not his fault. This has me so on edge I can barely stand it!

Tucker

Tucker is either a short-coated border collie or a border collie/cattle dog cross. Neither the rescue nor the vet were positive. He's somewhere between 1-2 years old and a fine little dog. I did bite off a handful considering his breed and his desire for chase...cats, small kids. Not all bring it out or should I say, not all create a wreck out of both of us. All entice him: cats, kids, dogs, people, cars, but to see a couple in a row put him in hyper drive. One alone, we can manage. Thank heavens he's little, but I don't want to turn him (and me) into whirling dervishes.

Oh. Did I mention he's also a jumper? And a counter surfer?

I've taken him to the vet and he got a clean bill of health. I'm hoping to set up an appointment with an organization called Packworks. The rescue folks recommended it because of Tucker's shyness. Another neighbor recommended because of the great advice they gave him on his rescue dog.

So Mr. Tuck is not a poodle, nor an Aussie. He does shed. My skin is reacting. And right now, I questions my sanity. I'm hoping he'll be just fine.

Another Possibility

I looked at a dog this past weekend. What a handsome boy! I had a couple of reservations though. He's only been at this foster home a couple of weeks. He has two wonderful acres to roam, three other dogs to play with, two cats to chase and fields worth of bunnies. So understandably, he was not particularly focused on me. Of course, that was disappointing, but pushing my ego aside, I understand (and hope) that's something that would change. When he did come up, he was very willing and eager for loving.

However, he is also very shy. His foster mom said he probably was an outside dog without a lot of human or canine interaction so new things overwhelm him. It is possible this shyness could evolve into aggression without the proper leadership and training. Would this be easy to do or would it be a constant part of owning Jake? God bless, Lucy, but I don't want another dog whom I need to continually monitor. I want a dog who is confident without being aggressive, friendly without being in your face, and is compliant but not lacking esteem.

When in doubt...

I sent an email to my vet asking her for her feedback on health and personality of aussies and standard poodles. Those two breeds seem to be my focus du jour and I thought she'd have a good perspective on them. Of course, I do understand that once I'm in the grips of a puppy, I may buy by the heart—and I hope that's the case! None-the-less, I'd like her opinion. She is not only a vet, but does a lot of outside activities (agility, etc.) with her dogs. Plus, as a vet, she sees them in their time of need, so can assess if either breed is more prone to certain issues.

Off the subject of breeds, but equally important, I came across this blog entry today. Since I've used many of those questionable products on Lucy, I find this interesting. Did the flea solution have something to do with her cancer?

Looking at Poodles

I met some great standard poodles recently. They were quite small (37 and 43 pounds, I think), but large enough to not be confused for a miniature. They were lovely and sweet and well-mannered.

As a child, my mother had been told that if she insisted on getting a dog, she should get a poodle as I was allergic. What amazed me about these dogs, was how my hands didn't react at all when I petted them. It was very surprising as I am so used to my hands getting itchy when I touch a new dog. Whenever I've brought a new pup home, it's taken a while for my skin to adjust to the dander, etc. But with the poods, nothing.

I Miss My Girl

I miss my girl. I miss my girl. I miss my girl.

Oh...

I just got a call from a good friend. Their dog, who we've taken care of over the past decade, is being put to sleep today. She has a brain tumor that can no longer be controlled by drugs. She's had five seizures in the past week. One of her owners is overseas and was concerned about leaving because of this. My heart breaks for both of them, for her being away, for him having to take their pup in and return to an empty house without either his dog or his partner. Losing your dog leaves a pit in your heart that is enormous.

Rest in peace, Ms. Suki.

Identity

Because Lucy and I were such a familiar sight in the neighborhood, I am often stopped and asked where she is. People aren't accustomed to seeing me dog-less. I am pleased I still walk the 'hood twice a day and for the first time in years, I'm traveling through different neighborhoods. And there in lies the rub...

I grew up with dogs even though I was allergic. My mother decided it was better I learn to live with and care for animals than have an itch-free existence—and for her own need to own a dog, I'm grateful. Throughout my childhood, there was always a dog, big, little, smart, gregarious—it didn't matter. Dalmatians, dachshunds, retrievers, mutts... When I moved out of our house into my first apartment, I was dog-less, but I didn't feel like I was. I lived close enough to my mother and visited frequently where there was always a dog at home.

It was only when I moved west that I truly was without a furry face. That lasted just shy of two years. Getting a dog, being responsible for someone other than myself, was my first step towards "growing up." It instantly modified my behavior. And how lucky I was that Suzy was such an amazing dog! When she passed away, it only took a couple of weeks before Lucy came to live with us. But now that Lucy is gone, it's been two months—and that's just the start of it.

I find I'm not frantic for a dog, though being without a dog is curious. I don't go into a store without thinking I should look for dog treats or toys. I still save plastic bags for scooping. I don't go on walks (although I'm training myself to call it that), but dog walks. Being on vacation last weekend without Lucy in the van with us, made me feel as if we'd forgotten something. I continually imagine her in the house. Not literally anymore, but in the figurative sense. The "if I was here, she'd be there" thought process.

Many friends—and even my students—ask when are you getting another one? I wonder the same thing. I've never considered being without a dog. I assumed one would always be in my life. Is this a new me? When will I get another dog...or will I?

My response has been consistent. For all her fabulous qualities, Lucy's dog aggression was stressful. It was something that I had to always monitor, it limited where I went and what I did. Plus the last three years of her life were fraught with medical issues which were equally emotionally debilitating. What did she have? How much would it cost? Would she be okay? And on, and on...

So I am not in a rush to have a pup again. I'm going through the steps. I'm having a "home check" down by one of the rescue organizations. I look on the internet and have been to the humane society, but no little face has called to me without me thinking of the work involved. I am liking my freedom to go anywhere at anytime to do anything. I am liking how clean the house is. I am liking there are no spousal disagreements on dog care.

But somehow I feel that's sacrilegious...

Give and Take

I've been having interesting conversations recently. They have been from the pro-no-dog folks—people who previously had a dog, but now do not. The bottom line is they wanted to do something else and the dog(s) held them back. One couple does extensive overseas bike rides. This is something my husband and I have often talked about and would love to do, but could not/would not because of the dog.

The dilemma for me is do I choose not to have a dog because I'd be gone for a certain length of time, when the majority of time, I'd be at home? We've often talked about traveling overseas, but with the recent dollar exchange, we decided this continent would be more affordable and equally enjoyable. And this continent, at least on this side of the southern border, we can easily take a dog.

Also, a friend reminded me, I am a homebody. I love camping, but I love my home and garden. Do I really want to be gone for months at a time? As fun as the van is, it's small! As an adult, the longest I've been gone is a month and we took the dog with us. It was during the winter and the garden could manage on its own. I don't really want to go during our summer as it's so nice here.

So what's a girl to do?

There's a little pup I passed up on. Perfect size; sounds like a lovely little personality. We weren't ready. I am so uncertain about this!

Patience

One of my students got a rescue dog recently. The dog is a lot of work for her and we were laughing about the learning curve both the owner and dog go through getting used to each other. Each class she asks if another dog has come into my life and I can honestly say, "It will happen, when it happens."

Yes, I am actively submitting applications in the Border Collie rescue, but I am not pursuing the dog to the point of obsession. My student said the reason why I didn't hear back from the rescue people and it's something I should have known. As the pup is globally exposed, the number of applications must be staggering. Of course they can't get back to me right away! If I wasn't the first application in, I could have been the 100th or 200th! That makes me even happier. I can apply without anxiety. It will happen when it happens.

We are taking our first vacation without Lucy this weekend. A short trip and only for the weekend, but it feels so strange to not be packing all of her things. The van will seem big and empty.

Pause

Yesterday was the first sunny day we've had in weeks. It felt wonderfully spring-like...enough to mow the lawn for the first time this year. It was also time to complete our time with Lucy and spread her ashes. How hard. Just when I thought I was done grieving, the loss was revisited.

When our first dog passed away, we spread her ashes on the north side of our house in the garden where she liked to sleep. For Lucy, we decided the south side through which gate she preferred to escape (until we became savvy to her methods). Emotions were as volatile as the ash of our sweet, long-legged girl let loose.

We saved some of her ashes and afterward took them mountain biking to a local trail system we often ride in the winter when higher routes are snow-covered. Where I would have dribbled the ash as we rode, my husband, who was carrying her ashes, chose to put them at certain spots. It was much more appropriate. When we'd ride with Lucy, she and my husband were always ahead of me and they had their own games they'd play. In some spots, Lucy would race my husband in straight-aways or cut through woods to short cut the trail and get out in front. He knew all those spots and at each one, we'd stop and he'd relate why he was putting the ash there. It was very tender and a wonderful way for him to say good-bye to his favorite dog companion.

Yesterday took the wind out of my new-dog-cravings. It seems sacrilegious to bring another pup into the home. I think we need a bit more time saying good-bye to Lucy.

Rebuttal for why NOT to get a dog

I got this rebuttal for my cons. Will I be aided and abetted at each turn? It looks like it! :)

1. The house is cleaner.
I won't be bothered by trivial stuff if I have a dog to play with.

2. I don't have to be home at any certain time.
I'll be glad to be home on time because of what greets me!

3. I don't have go on a walk if it's pouring.
I'll get to enjoy a tour of the natural world with my friend.

4. No spousal disagreements regarding care.
My spouse and I will have a stronger relationship because we have a mutual being to be responsible for.

5. Cheaper.
I'll get rich being paid in wags and shiny eyed looks.

6. We can go anywhere at anytime without worrying about the dog.
I won't wander aimlessly through my life.

7. The yard/garden is free of destruction.
I will have a reason to be outside more.

8. We can leave the garage open.
Your garage will be closed to prevent theft of property.

9. We don't have to worrying about who/how to board the dog.
I will have so much joy sharing my dog with the wonderful people I search out.

10. No training time.
I will have the mental stimulation of training another species to live happily in the world he's in.

11. No heartbreak.
I will get to experience a full lifespan in a way that we humans rarely get to do with each other.

Possibilities

There are two dogs at the local shelter that have caught my eye.

Like a retriever is hard-wired to retrieve or a border collie is hard-wired to herd, I am hard-wired to have a dog. I spoke with my husband last night and even though I told him I'd trytrytry to wait a year before getting another pup, I have serious doubts about my success rate as it has been nearly two months and look where I am! Thank heavens he understands me and knows not to plead his (losing) case too hard. A dog is in his future. Luckily for me—and the future dog—my husband is a softie even though he might profess otherwise.

I keep reminding myself of the work involved. I ponder the benefits of a rescue dog that has been socialized in another home. With this pup I'd have some proof if the dog was housebroken, destructive, had behavior issues, was dog aggressive, rode well in a car, etc. With a pound puppy, all I have is the intake sheet where the owner may or may not have told the truth. But the pound puppy would have more need of a stable home.

When I think back on Suzy, I was totally oblivious and blessed. I found an incredible dog that was born to mind. She was incredibly intelligent. We were connected at the hip. She saw me through a string of boyfriends and made it clear who was worthy or not—and I trusted her opinion. (She loved my husband right off the bat.) When I saw Lucy, I fell in love with her boisterousness; so different than serious Suzy. But Lucy was a handful her whole life—a love, a delightful goofball, but a handful. Very different hound dogs.

Someone on a dog forum told me to write a list of what I did and didn't want in a dog. Hm-m. I doubt this list covers everything, but as a start:

1. Connects with my husband & me
2. Minds/well-mannered
3. Healthy
4. Confident
5. Friendly with dogs and children
6. Good, but controllable energy
7. Ability to mountain bike

What I don't want:

1. Sickly or genetic problems (hip issues, epilepsy, etc.)
2. Aggressive
3. Hyper or lethargic
4. Fearful
5. Doesn't obey

Is that too much to ask? The sad thing is there are hundreds of great dogs out there that fit the bill. If I'm lucky, I'll find one. If I don't get a pup now, there will always be another fine hound in the waiting. I wish that wasn't the case.

Epilogue #1
I didn't go. I didn't stop at the Humane Society; I came straight home. I made a bet with myself that if it was raining, I'd refrain. However, I am weak when it comes to a fuzzy face. If it becomes sunny, I may hop in the car.

Wow. I sound really weak, no will power. This is a serious case of the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Next weekend, weather permitting, we're going on a short trip. It would be nice to do it dogless. To try and do it dogless. Okay, maybe I need to make a list of all the good things about not having a dog.

1. The house is cleaner.
2. I don't have to be home at any certain time.
3. I don't have go on a walk if it's pouring.
4. No spousal disagreements regarding care.
5. Cheaper.
6. We can go anywhere at anytime without worrying about the dog.
7. The yard/garden is free of destruction.
8. We can leave the garage open.
9. We don't have to worrying about who/how to board the dog.
10. No training time.
11. No heartbreak.

So what's good about a dog?

1. Fuzzy face.
2. Sense of humor.
3. Unconditional love.
4. Companionship.
5. Protection.
6. Ice breaker. (I know many people in the neighborhood because of dog walks.)
7. Give a toss-away a good home.

It seems like the cons are more plentiful than the pros. So why the need? That's the question.

What next?

I am not ready yet, but I come from a long line of dog owners—people for whom a dog is a family member. Growing up, when one dog passed away, within a very short time, we had another. My mother felt it was her duty to give a dog a home. Not a fancy, pedigreed pooch, but some poor cast-off who was housed at a shelter. That mindset has been thoroughly inculcated in our family and my siblings have embraced it enthusiastically. Surprisingly, after we all separately lost our last dogs, we didn't spring into action, but waited. My sister waited nearly a year (unheard of!) and my brother is now out six months. It's been a month since Lucy passed and though I know I eventually will have another pup, I don't feel the need to rush.

When that pup arrives, I want to make sure I'm prepared...or as prepared as one can be. Lucy, my head-strong, lovely lass was allowed to walk at the end of her lead. She didn't pull, but she was "out front." The new pup will not have that luxury. With Lucy, it was a mistake and irresponsible of me to let her do this. Being aggressive and out in front meant I had no control over Lucy when a loose (aggressive or not) dog approached. Unfortunately this left Lucy to make her own (often inappropriate) decision on how to handle the situation.

And what kind of pup do I want? For some reason I have a rescued Border Collie on the brain, though I am not sure we would be the best household for a BC. Yes, it would be walked twice a day and yes, it would have many mountain-biking opportunities, but is that enough exercise/stimulation for that dog? And what about a shelter dog? I'm so concerned about pit bull being mixed in (a shelter dog) that I'm leery about adopting from that source. Size dog? I think I want smaller. Lucy wasn't that big, but big enough that it wasn't easy to pick her up.

I guess the nice thing about this time is it provides reflection. What did I do right (or wrong) in training my girl? How can I improve? What breed mix is good for us? When do we want to take on another dog? I can look on-line at rescue and shelter dogs and ponder without purchasing. I can muse without making the move. Hopefully I'll the opportunity when it presents itself.

Missing My Girl

I didn't think I'd be writing any more...at least not about Lucy and not so soon. After the initial heart break of losing her, I went through the denial period where I was not interested in any dogs. That's changed. I just returned from a short trip with girl friends and two of them have two dogs apiece. Naturally, there was a lot of dog-talk.

When I returned home, stepping off the plane and seeing my husband was wonderful, but entering an empty house with no Lucy to greet me was like watching a play where the last act was canceled. The house was empty and flat.

I may be getting a new pup sooner than I thought. I try to think of all the crummy things about dog-owning to keep myself distanced, but fact of the matter, that furry face is able to break down all sorts of boundaries.

Found Picture

My husband was looking through his phone and found this picture of Lucy. It was from our January trip, taken in the Mojave desert. Isn't she beautiful?

A Great Vet

I've mentioned this before, and here I go again, but Kate Schottman and her team at Sunset Pet Hospital are truly a notch above. Not only did Kate, the owner and main vet, send me a touching personal card, but the staff sent their own joint card. Today, I received a letter from WSU's College of Veterinary Medicine that Sunset had sent a donation to them in Lucy's name. The donation here goes into continued research. Some other little pup (or pet) may live longer because of it. I am not naive enough to think this is unique to us, nor that it doesn't promote continued business for Sunset. However, I think it is indicative of the style of that clinic—caring, compassionate and great. I would never go anywhere else with a pet.

My good, good friend Betsy sent a donation to PAWS in Lucy's name also. Now some other discarded pets will have a better chance at food and care. Lucy is happy about both of these. I know it.

Ashes to Ashes...

They called yesterday; Lucy's remains were ready. I picked them up with much trepidation, but she sits on the desk beside me. At first, because I was uneasy, I thought I'd leave the box in the basement—after all, she slept there much of the time. Yet that seemed a bit bleak, so I brought her upstairs. Eventually I opened the cardboard box uncertain of what I'd find...a bag? A box? There was a gray urn. We decided we'll scatter some of her ashes here and some on one of the trails where we took her mountain biking. He said it's only ceremony and not really necessary, but we both feel its an important step—closure—to a dog life well lived.

Many of our friends have elderly dogs and I'm so sorry for what they'll also soon have to experience. When I was growing up, my mother would get another dog rapidly after we lost one. Her motive wasn't to replace the first pet, but to honor it by giving another "cast off" another chance. I couldn't agree more. When our first dog passed away after 18 magnificent years, I doubt I waited two weeks before bringing Lucy home. This time, however, I feel no urgency. Yes, I did tell my husband I'd try to wait a year, but even more than that is the time I need to heal. Lucy was sick for over two years with something (back, nose and cancer). I need to be away from that sadness for some time before I'm willing to take on another pup and its issues. For me, that means remaining dogless for some time.

Waves

It is the seventh day. Mostly I'm pretty good. Yesterday, for whatever reason was difficult though. I took myself on a couple of dogless dogwalks and tried to go places that I no longer took Lucy. However, even that made me sad.

Some friends stopped by in the late afternoon and ended up staying for dinner which was a great break. They gave us a card that tore me to shreds. It was written 'from Lucy' and thanked us for such a good life. Having put her to sleep, to get a thank you...even if written by Kathleen...cracked whatever reserve I'd built up. I still feel raw this morning.

Multiple Stages of Grief

I know some people find ludicrous the grief others experience over the loss of their pets. What they must not realize is how entwined one's life becomes with a pet. Multiple daily walks and feeding, brushing, washing, playing with them, patting them... They become your focus. You control their life and as a good dog owner, you are involved on an intimate level keeping them healthy, happy and engaged.

When Lucy was diagnosed with cancer a mere two weeks ago, that focus became quadrupled. Her care and comfort took on a whole new meaning and also became (unconsciously) a period in which to say goodbye and let her know how much we loved her. Knowing we were going to be the final arbitrator of her life was a struggle. At some point, all pet owners must come to grips with this. However, when she exhibited so much discomfort Monday evening, it was a quick decision—she let us know it was time and took the decision making on herself. Yes, I know, we made the call, but she made it abundantly clear she was miserable. There was little debate about what we had to do. Only for the briefest second did I doubt myself and that of course was because of the grief over losing her.

The next day I started cleaning up her things and was going to give away or toss most of it. (Not her collar; that I'll keep.) But I realized that was also grief talking—that somehow, by removing any sign of her, the grief would also disappear. Her food, her toys, some of her hiking paraphernalia, sure, others may be able to use them, but I don't need to get rid of everything. Not her beds, not her leashes, not her dog bag. Eventually we'll have another dog in the house.

I mentioned hearing her bark yesterday in the wee hours of the morning. Last night I dreamed that they'd made a mistake and Lucy was just fine and still with us. Another stage of grief: reversing the outcome. I wonder how many stages we'll go through?

I wrote my niece and told her that I was catching myself in the habits I'd accrued through my life with Lucy. Returning from work, any water left in my bottle, I'd pour in her water bowl. While making salads, any little pieces of vegetable she liked, I'd give her a scrap. I kept all the used plastic veggie bags for collection on dog walks and now what do I do with them? I hear her coming down the hall. I hear her old snorfely nose. I reach down to pat her or turn my head to see if she's in one of her many beds, but there is no Lucy to receive a pat. There is no water bowl, no beds. This is surely the most difficult stage of grieving—habit versus reality. I am constantly reminded of our loss.

Woof

I heard Lucy bark at 4:16AM this morning. I woke with a start. It was her gravelly, older dog, partially paralyzed larynx bark and was clear as a bell. At first I thought she was hurt, but realized she is at peace now and prefer to think she was saying goodbye or that she was okay; she was on her journey...that in front of her, lay a huge, sunny field filled with little rodents to snort out or bunnies to chase.

Saying Goodbye

I take part in an on-line dog forum. I don't personally know any of the participants, but they have been quite extraordinary in sharing their experience, thoughts and feelings. They've been particularly invaluable to me through Lucy's crises.

The last couple of days I've been struggling with ethics. How do I know when it's right for Lucy to go? Do I wait until she no longer can stand or eat? Do I put her to sleep while she's still functional? She's been panting a lot the last several days—rapid, prolonged panting, and I feel this is a sign of pain, not the prednisone. My husband and I talked about acupuncture over drugs as Lucy is so sensitive to pain killers; they turn her into a zombie. He felt any mitigating care wasn't fair either as it was just prolonging a life that was ready to let go. Yet he couldn't put her to sleep while she was still walking, eating and joining us for baby bike rides. And that too, was my dilemma.

When I posted my concerns and confusion in the dog forum, one wonderful participant sent me a private message offering her story. They chose to put their dog down before pain became his constant companion. Her note clarified my dilemma. It wasn't about me (and my ethical conundrum). It was about Lucy, her comfort and life quality. As a dog owner, you assume their care and well being. No matter how much we love them, the bottom line is their best interest regardless of our pain at losing them. So I talked to my husband about this and told him he needed to prepare himself emotionally for this eventuality...that this weekend may be the time we put her to sleep, if Lucy could wait that long.

Lucy is hard-wired for running. Each weekend we have taken her on baby bike rides of 1-2 miles. Each time she has been willing, eager and able. Walks have not been as enticing for her, so the last several days, she hasn't always been interested in her morning or afternoon outings. When she has gone, the walks have been quite short. The prednisone has kept her hungry, so her appetite is good. Last evening, sometime after she ate, she went into the back yard. For some reason, I felt I needed to watch her. She paced the yard. She looked like she wanted to poop, but couldn't; looked like she was trying to vomit, but couldn't. I rushed out to check on her and found her tummy quite swollen and rock solid and feared bloat. I called the hospital to bring her in. Luckily they were still open, and remained open until we got there. Kate wasn't on duty, but another vet, whom we like, was there along with some of the staff and techs I know well.

Lucy threw up several times in the van and I know she was uncomfortable doing this despite how awful she obviously felt. The techs and vet were wonderful. The vet said it wasn't bloat, but that something was definitely going on in Lucy's abdomen and she offered an xray. Instead, we opted for sleep. Lucy had been given 2-4 weeks to live and had just crested the half-way mark. She wasn't comfortable anymore and had started withdrawing from us. Yes, she might be in the same room, but she wasn't participating, wasn't watching us, wasn't keen on patting anymore.

The vet techs put a big, blanket-covered pad on the floor and a catheter in her back leg so that the drug would go in cleanly.We got down on the floor with her and were able to be with her until the end and then some. It was very fast, but our hearts are broken. She was such a fine, fine hound.

Positive Thinking & Reality

Lucy has started piddling again as she sleeps. I've put her back on Pro-In and hope that solves the issue. I've got an email in to the vet regarding dosage. My recollection was she started on 1 a day for X amount of time and then dropped to a 1/2 tab once a day.

She's drinking a huge amount of water and she is voraciously hungry. I could even say obsessively hungry. Every time she even thinks we might be heading to the kitchen, she's there ahead of us. Sometimes I'll find her just lying by her food bowl.

Is it the cancer? With all she's eating, she's losing weight. Are her kidneys failing? Her breathing is very congested, her heartbeat rapid. My sister said that perhaps the pneumonia will be her demise.

What a grim picture! I'm trying to think positively, but this morning it isn't easy. The reality is overwhelmingly depressing.

Taking things as they come

Saturday was a gorgeous day; one of those "foolers" that makes you think spring is here. I worked a bit in the yard, but really had to restrain myself from doing too much (and run the risk of plants getting zapped by a sure-to-happen frost). Lucy was in the yard with me happily soaking up the sun. So why was I depressed?

I think weekends are harder because I am with her 24/7 and can witness minute by minute how she is doing. Scrutiny that is that close reveals the changes I miss during the week while working. I don't always want to see them. She's slower. Her breathing is more labored. Her hacking is back. Her energy is low.

I decided to try focusing on the positive. She's here. Very positive. She eats well (in fact, she's always hungry). Positive. She still loves her cocktail ball. Positive. On Sunday, we decided to see if she'd be interested in a little run. Once those van doors opened, she leapt (yes, leapt) in. She ran (loped) about 2.5 miles. Now what's not positive about that?

I had made an appointment with a holistic vet, but my husband was not keen on my taking Lucy in. He recently lost his mother to cancer and saw her go through the medical gamut. He didn't want Lucy to suffer through that. I know it is different for a dog. The medication isn't as powerful; the acupuncture is supposed to ease discomfort. I cancelled the appointment, but may call her again and discuss in more details her costs and the procedures.

Perhaps I'm throwing darts at a moving target, but isn't this what everyone does when they fear they are losing someone (in this case, my lovely hound) they love?