I've been having interesting conversations recently. They have been from the pro-no-dog folks—people who previously had a dog, but now do not. The bottom line is they wanted to do something else and the dog(s) held them back. One couple does extensive overseas bike rides. This is something my husband and I have often talked about and would love to do, but could not/would not because of the dog.
The dilemma for me is do I choose not to have a dog because I'd be gone for a certain length of time, when the majority of time, I'd be at home? We've often talked about traveling overseas, but with the recent dollar exchange, we decided this continent would be more affordable and equally enjoyable. And this continent, at least on this side of the southern border, we can easily take a dog.
Also, a friend reminded me, I am a homebody. I love camping, but I love my home and garden. Do I really want to be gone for months at a time? As fun as the van is, it's small! As an adult, the longest I've been gone is a month and we took the dog with us. It was during the winter and the garden could manage on its own. I don't really want to go during our summer as it's so nice here.
So what's a girl to do?
There's a little pup I passed up on. Perfect size; sounds like a lovely little personality. We weren't ready. I am so uncertain about this!
March 30, 2009
March 26, 2009
Patience
One of my students got a rescue dog recently. The dog is a lot of work for her and we were laughing about the learning curve both the owner and dog go through getting used to each other. Each class she asks if another dog has come into my life and I can honestly say, "It will happen, when it happens."
Yes, I am actively submitting applications in the Border Collie rescue, but I am not pursuing the dog to the point of obsession. My student said the reason why I didn't hear back from the rescue people and it's something I should have known. As the pup is globally exposed, the number of applications must be staggering. Of course they can't get back to me right away! If I wasn't the first application in, I could have been the 100th or 200th! That makes me even happier. I can apply without anxiety. It will happen when it happens.
We are taking our first vacation without Lucy this weekend. A short trip and only for the weekend, but it feels so strange to not be packing all of her things. The van will seem big and empty.
Yes, I am actively submitting applications in the Border Collie rescue, but I am not pursuing the dog to the point of obsession. My student said the reason why I didn't hear back from the rescue people and it's something I should have known. As the pup is globally exposed, the number of applications must be staggering. Of course they can't get back to me right away! If I wasn't the first application in, I could have been the 100th or 200th! That makes me even happier. I can apply without anxiety. It will happen when it happens.
We are taking our first vacation without Lucy this weekend. A short trip and only for the weekend, but it feels so strange to not be packing all of her things. The van will seem big and empty.
March 22, 2009
Pause
Yesterday was the first sunny day we've had in weeks. It felt wonderfully spring-like...enough to mow the lawn for the first time this year. It was also time to complete our time with Lucy and spread her ashes. How hard. Just when I thought I was done grieving, the loss was revisited.
When our first dog passed away, we spread her ashes on the north side of our house in the garden where she liked to sleep. For Lucy, we decided the south side through which gate she preferred to escape (until we became savvy to her methods). Emotions were as volatile as the ash of our sweet, long-legged girl let loose.
We saved some of her ashes and afterward took them mountain biking to a local trail system we often ride in the winter when higher routes are snow-covered. Where I would have dribbled the ash as we rode, my husband, who was carrying her ashes, chose to put them at certain spots. It was much more appropriate. When we'd ride with Lucy, she and my husband were always ahead of me and they had their own games they'd play. In some spots, Lucy would race my husband in straight-aways or cut through woods to short cut the trail and get out in front. He knew all those spots and at each one, we'd stop and he'd relate why he was putting the ash there. It was very tender and a wonderful way for him to say good-bye to his favorite dog companion.
Yesterday took the wind out of my new-dog-cravings. It seems sacrilegious to bring another pup into the home. I think we need a bit more time saying good-bye to Lucy.
When our first dog passed away, we spread her ashes on the north side of our house in the garden where she liked to sleep. For Lucy, we decided the south side through which gate she preferred to escape (until we became savvy to her methods). Emotions were as volatile as the ash of our sweet, long-legged girl let loose.
We saved some of her ashes and afterward took them mountain biking to a local trail system we often ride in the winter when higher routes are snow-covered. Where I would have dribbled the ash as we rode, my husband, who was carrying her ashes, chose to put them at certain spots. It was much more appropriate. When we'd ride with Lucy, she and my husband were always ahead of me and they had their own games they'd play. In some spots, Lucy would race my husband in straight-aways or cut through woods to short cut the trail and get out in front. He knew all those spots and at each one, we'd stop and he'd relate why he was putting the ash there. It was very tender and a wonderful way for him to say good-bye to his favorite dog companion.
Yesterday took the wind out of my new-dog-cravings. It seems sacrilegious to bring another pup into the home. I think we need a bit more time saying good-bye to Lucy.
March 20, 2009
Rebuttal for why NOT to get a dog
I got this rebuttal for my cons. Will I be aided and abetted at each turn? It looks like it! :)
1. The house is cleaner.
I won't be bothered by trivial stuff if I have a dog to play with.
2. I don't have to be home at any certain time.
I'll be glad to be home on time because of what greets me!
3. I don't have go on a walk if it's pouring.
I'll get to enjoy a tour of the natural world with my friend.
4. No spousal disagreements regarding care.
My spouse and I will have a stronger relationship because we have a mutual being to be responsible for.
5. Cheaper.
I'll get rich being paid in wags and shiny eyed looks.
6. We can go anywhere at anytime without worrying about the dog.
I won't wander aimlessly through my life.
7. The yard/garden is free of destruction.
I will have a reason to be outside more.
8. We can leave the garage open.
Your garage will be closed to prevent theft of property.
9. We don't have to worrying about who/how to board the dog.
I will have so much joy sharing my dog with the wonderful people I search out.
10. No training time.
I will have the mental stimulation of training another species to live happily in the world he's in.
11. No heartbreak.
I will get to experience a full lifespan in a way that we humans rarely get to do with each other.
1. The house is cleaner.
I won't be bothered by trivial stuff if I have a dog to play with.
2. I don't have to be home at any certain time.
I'll be glad to be home on time because of what greets me!
3. I don't have go on a walk if it's pouring.
I'll get to enjoy a tour of the natural world with my friend.
4. No spousal disagreements regarding care.
My spouse and I will have a stronger relationship because we have a mutual being to be responsible for.
5. Cheaper.
I'll get rich being paid in wags and shiny eyed looks.
6. We can go anywhere at anytime without worrying about the dog.
I won't wander aimlessly through my life.
7. The yard/garden is free of destruction.
I will have a reason to be outside more.
8. We can leave the garage open.
Your garage will be closed to prevent theft of property.
9. We don't have to worrying about who/how to board the dog.
I will have so much joy sharing my dog with the wonderful people I search out.
10. No training time.
I will have the mental stimulation of training another species to live happily in the world he's in.
11. No heartbreak.
I will get to experience a full lifespan in a way that we humans rarely get to do with each other.
Possibilities
There are two dogs at the local shelter that have caught my eye.
Like a retriever is hard-wired to retrieve or a border collie is hard-wired to herd, I am hard-wired to have a dog. I spoke with my husband last night and even though I told him I'd trytrytry to wait a year before getting another pup, I have serious doubts about my success rate as it has been nearly two months and look where I am! Thank heavens he understands me and knows not to plead his (losing) case too hard. A dog is in his future. Luckily for me—and the future dog—my husband is a softie even though he might profess otherwise.
I keep reminding myself of the work involved. I ponder the benefits of a rescue dog that has been socialized in another home. With this pup I'd have some proof if the dog was housebroken, destructive, had behavior issues, was dog aggressive, rode well in a car, etc. With a pound puppy, all I have is the intake sheet where the owner may or may not have told the truth. But the pound puppy would have more need of a stable home.
When I think back on Suzy, I was totally oblivious and blessed. I found an incredible dog that was born to mind. She was incredibly intelligent. We were connected at the hip. She saw me through a string of boyfriends and made it clear who was worthy or not—and I trusted her opinion. (She loved my husband right off the bat.) When I saw Lucy, I fell in love with her boisterousness; so different than serious Suzy. But Lucy was a handful her whole life—a love, a delightful goofball, but a handful. Very different hound dogs.
Someone on a dog forum told me to write a list of what I did and didn't want in a dog. Hm-m. I doubt this list covers everything, but as a start:
Epilogue #1
I didn't go. I didn't stop at the Humane Society; I came straight home. I made a bet with myself that if it was raining, I'd refrain. However, I am weak when it comes to a fuzzy face. If it becomes sunny, I may hop in the car.
Wow. I sound really weak, no will power. This is a serious case of the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Next weekend, weather permitting, we're going on a short trip. It would be nice to do it dogless. To try and do it dogless. Okay, maybe I need to make a list of all the good things about not having a dog.
Like a retriever is hard-wired to retrieve or a border collie is hard-wired to herd, I am hard-wired to have a dog. I spoke with my husband last night and even though I told him I'd trytrytry to wait a year before getting another pup, I have serious doubts about my success rate as it has been nearly two months and look where I am! Thank heavens he understands me and knows not to plead his (losing) case too hard. A dog is in his future. Luckily for me—and the future dog—my husband is a softie even though he might profess otherwise.
I keep reminding myself of the work involved. I ponder the benefits of a rescue dog that has been socialized in another home. With this pup I'd have some proof if the dog was housebroken, destructive, had behavior issues, was dog aggressive, rode well in a car, etc. With a pound puppy, all I have is the intake sheet where the owner may or may not have told the truth. But the pound puppy would have more need of a stable home.
When I think back on Suzy, I was totally oblivious and blessed. I found an incredible dog that was born to mind. She was incredibly intelligent. We were connected at the hip. She saw me through a string of boyfriends and made it clear who was worthy or not—and I trusted her opinion. (She loved my husband right off the bat.) When I saw Lucy, I fell in love with her boisterousness; so different than serious Suzy. But Lucy was a handful her whole life—a love, a delightful goofball, but a handful. Very different hound dogs.
Someone on a dog forum told me to write a list of what I did and didn't want in a dog. Hm-m. I doubt this list covers everything, but as a start:
- Connects with my husband & me
- Minds/well-mannered
- Healthy
- Confident
- Friendly with dogs and children
- Good, but controllable energy
- Ability to mountain bike
- Sickly or genetic problems (hip issues, epilepsy, etc.)
- Aggressive
- Hyper or lethargic
- Fearful
- Doesn't obey
Epilogue #1
I didn't go. I didn't stop at the Humane Society; I came straight home. I made a bet with myself that if it was raining, I'd refrain. However, I am weak when it comes to a fuzzy face. If it becomes sunny, I may hop in the car.
Wow. I sound really weak, no will power. This is a serious case of the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Next weekend, weather permitting, we're going on a short trip. It would be nice to do it dogless. To try and do it dogless. Okay, maybe I need to make a list of all the good things about not having a dog.
- The house is cleaner.
- I don't have to be home at any certain time.
- I don't have go on a walk if it's pouring.
- No spousal disagreements regarding care.
- Cheaper.
- We can go anywhere at anytime without worrying about the dog.
- The yard/garden is free of destruction.
- We can leave the garage open.
- We don't have to worrying about who/how to board the dog.
- No training time.
- No heartbreak.
- Fuzzy face.
- Sense of humor.
- Unconditional love.
- Companionship.
- Protection.
- Ice breaker. (I know many people in the neighborhood because of dog walks.)
- Give a toss-away a good home.
March 13, 2009
What next?
I am not ready yet, but I come from a long line of dog owners—people for whom a dog is a family member. Growing up, when one dog passed away, within a very short time, we had another. My mother felt it was her duty to give a dog a home. Not a fancy, pedigreed pooch, but some poor cast-off who was housed at a shelter. That mindset has been thoroughly inculcated in our family and my siblings have embraced it enthusiastically. Surprisingly, after we all separately lost our last dogs, we didn't spring into action, but waited. My sister waited nearly a year (unheard of!) and my brother is now out six months. It's been a month since Lucy passed and though I know I eventually will have another pup, I don't feel the need to rush.
When that pup arrives, I want to make sure I'm prepared...or as prepared as one can be. Lucy, my head-strong, lovely lass was allowed to walk at the end of her lead. She didn't pull, but she was "out front." The new pup will not have that luxury. With Lucy, it was a mistake and irresponsible of me to let her do this. Being aggressive and out in front meant I had no control over Lucy when a loose (aggressive or not) dog approached. Unfortunately this left Lucy to make her own (often inappropriate) decision on how to handle the situation.
And what kind of pup do I want? For some reason I have a rescued Border Collie on the brain, though I am not sure we would be the best household for a BC. Yes, it would be walked twice a day and yes, it would have many mountain-biking opportunities, but is that enough exercise/stimulation for that dog? And what about a shelter dog? I'm so concerned about pit bull being mixed in (a shelter dog) that I'm leery about adopting from that source. Size dog? I think I want smaller. Lucy wasn't that big, but big enough that it wasn't easy to pick her up.
I guess the nice thing about this time is it provides reflection. What did I do right (or wrong) in training my girl? How can I improve? What breed mix is good for us? When do we want to take on another dog? I can look on-line at rescue and shelter dogs and ponder without purchasing. I can muse without making the move. Hopefully I'll the opportunity when it presents itself.
When that pup arrives, I want to make sure I'm prepared...or as prepared as one can be. Lucy, my head-strong, lovely lass was allowed to walk at the end of her lead. She didn't pull, but she was "out front." The new pup will not have that luxury. With Lucy, it was a mistake and irresponsible of me to let her do this. Being aggressive and out in front meant I had no control over Lucy when a loose (aggressive or not) dog approached. Unfortunately this left Lucy to make her own (often inappropriate) decision on how to handle the situation.
And what kind of pup do I want? For some reason I have a rescued Border Collie on the brain, though I am not sure we would be the best household for a BC. Yes, it would be walked twice a day and yes, it would have many mountain-biking opportunities, but is that enough exercise/stimulation for that dog? And what about a shelter dog? I'm so concerned about pit bull being mixed in (a shelter dog) that I'm leery about adopting from that source. Size dog? I think I want smaller. Lucy wasn't that big, but big enough that it wasn't easy to pick her up.
I guess the nice thing about this time is it provides reflection. What did I do right (or wrong) in training my girl? How can I improve? What breed mix is good for us? When do we want to take on another dog? I can look on-line at rescue and shelter dogs and ponder without purchasing. I can muse without making the move. Hopefully I'll the opportunity when it presents itself.
March 9, 2009
Missing My Girl
I didn't think I'd be writing any more...at least not about Lucy and not so soon. After the initial heart break of losing her, I went through the denial period where I was not interested in any dogs. That's changed. I just returned from a short trip with girl friends and two of them have two dogs apiece. Naturally, there was a lot of dog-talk.
When I returned home, stepping off the plane and seeing my husband was wonderful, but entering an empty house with no Lucy to greet me was like watching a play where the last act was canceled. The house was empty and flat.
I may be getting a new pup sooner than I thought. I try to think of all the crummy things about dog-owning to keep myself distanced, but fact of the matter, that furry face is able to break down all sorts of boundaries.
When I returned home, stepping off the plane and seeing my husband was wonderful, but entering an empty house with no Lucy to greet me was like watching a play where the last act was canceled. The house was empty and flat.
I may be getting a new pup sooner than I thought. I try to think of all the crummy things about dog-owning to keep myself distanced, but fact of the matter, that furry face is able to break down all sorts of boundaries.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)