Do Our Dogs Love Us?

Do dogs love us? I have started this post numerous times and continue to save it as a draft. Why? It just seems a bigger question than I can cognitively handle combining what I feel at a gut level and what I'm willing to accept intellectually. And really, my pup and I share lots of things, but not a common language, so I can’t just out and out ask her, “Do you love me?”

This question is one I periodically have with my family of non-scientific dog fanatics. We all agree that we think so as the dogs behavior is similar to our own with those we love. Coinciding with a family visit, a friend sent me this article, (What Pets Think of Us, by Steve Dale, USA Weekend) on whether dogs actually "love" us and it made me ponder whether Bella really loves me? Having been inculcated with the "don't anthropomorphize" school of thought, I am hesitant to say "love", but I will emphatically say she is definitely bonded with me and because she's my pup and I'm me, I'll say (under my breath) she loves me too.

Then there is this post, When You Are Generous, Your Dog Is Watching You, by Con Slobodchikoff regarding canine generosity and this one, Why Dog Trainers Will Have to Change Their Ways, by Kate Kellaway with The Observer on John Bradshaw's studies regarding letting a dog "win" when you play with him.....so is it the old "do unto others..." with dogs also?

I've grown up with dogs and each had a distinct personality. Some were quite attached to us and stuck with us when it might not have been "fun" for them, contrary to Bradshaw’s point of view when the dogs weren’t always on the “winning” end of the equation (though I realize he isn’t intimating they always have to win). The dogs were our compatriots through and through. They went where we went. They were aware when one of us was sick and stayed by that person's side. So does that mean they loved us?

Of the three dogs I've had as an adult, two have exhibited that behavior: Suzy, our first dog, and now, Bella. It's not that I think Lucy wasn't attached to us, but she was such a re-actor. In retrospect, although we gave her a good home and good care, I think she needed someone else who was more knowledgeable in dealing with a dog who acted so impulsively. I never felt that she "loved" for us, as much as she "needed" us.

Bella, on the other hand, is very attached to us without being needy. She is quite sure of herself and her relationship to her world. She can be put in a myriad of situations and does quite well assessing her place. She is incredibly attuned to our moods and health. And though she enjoys everyone’s company, she is most definitely attached to my husband and me.

But is that love? Am I happy with saying she is “merely” bonded? I am, but what do you think about this? Do you feel your pup loves you?

UPDATE: I just picked up John Bradshaw's book, Dog Sense, from the library. Chapter 6 is "Does Your Dog Love You." I'll report back when I've read it!